My Habeas Corpus

I like short haircuts. I have had short hair the majority of my life. However, when I had my breakdowns, the hair got a lot shorter than the ol' chin length bob. The first breakdown was marked with me cutting it really boy short. And when I went through the next set, I think I cut it some then. Weirdly enough, in distant pop culture world, it was around when Britney Spears cut her hair short, had her life hiccups. There have been these strange moments of feeling extremely connected to celebrities. Britney Spears showed a rage that I was feeling. Hilary Duff released an album about frustration with her dad. Amanda Bynes had her strange wig moments and erratic behavior where she was in court. Hell, even later when Miley Cyrus had moments I felt like these women were acting on very normal rational impulses. The public eye was showing a vulnerable side to people that I felt connected to. So I didn't full on shave my head like Britney, but in the past, each manic breakdown was

The 15 Year Itch It's 15 years since my diagnosis. Mental illness strikes again. The survival imperative kicks in. I march uphill - the only path ahead is that of a warrior, a soldier, a fighter. Somehow I am finding my way to the other side. God is answering prayers. My psycologist and psychiatrist helped me to feel heard. Work allowed me to take time off. My husband gave me grace, courage and support in every achy moment, and there has been many. I'm walking onto the other side of a two-month climb out of depression. I think am learning how life stress can weigh on me twice as much as the not so bipolar person. It takes extra extra extra self-care and awareness to honor my needs and keep pressing forward.