I Hate Needles
I am really tired. I supposed I don't always have a chest of secrets to spill here. Today my life is so different. So good. Much more peace, stability. Happiness. I have someone who shares these weights with me. I have to fight off the memories sometimes. There are so many memories stored, sifted, dissected, explained. Today my life is still impacted by the events of 2004. It hits me because I just went to the pharmacy to get meds filled so I don't miss another dose of meds. Sure I've gone off meds many times quite successfully. But it doesn't mean I haven't used them as a resources also. I have been responsible. And I deserve agency in these choices. Don't we all? I hate thinking of all the threats or warnings from doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, parents, friends, and others that all will be lost without meds. Why would they give me suicide stats? Why would they scare an already scared person. Did the ever think that all might be lost with meds? Man,